What am I thinking?

(warning...this is a long post)

(pic of my harp..okay technically not MY harp, but the same harp as mine, same company, same style, same color, same decal, it could be mine, but this came off Venusharps.com website)

There are times in our life that we never prepare for or realize that what we are doing is preparing us for something totally out of our comfort zone.  That has happened to me.  I have played the harp for 26 years. I have never ever aspired to be the only harpist in any sort of ensemble.  I have liked being the solo act (except in church).  There was a time in my life that I loved the attention that playing the harp brought to me, and that was probably when I first started :).

My partriarchal blessing says I need to share my talent.  I try to share my talent whenever I can.  Sometimes I have to remind Brent that I was told to share my talent, and that means I need his help in moving the harp.  There are also times I wonder how I can share my talent more.  But lately, I also feel that I don't even have the time to practice.  With school and work and a family when do I fit practicing my harp in?  (no I am not asking anyone this question, that is just my thought). 

Anyway, I am taking a class called Music for Elementary Teachers.  I was warned that when the teacher passes around a paper and asks you to list what instrument(s) you play, be prepared to play in class.  I listed the harp, because technically I do play it..haha!  Little did I know, every Monday I would be playing it.  Children's songs that is.  In this class every Monday we have a jam session...harp, flute, guitar, cello, recorders, and singers.  Yep, that is what I think of when I think of jam session.

So, about two weeks ago I was helping the professor haul the harp back to the room it came from (I use a harp the school has). As we are walking to the room my professor tells me he has told one of the other Professors about me and this professor would like to meet me.  My instructor points to the room where this instructor is located and then says, "How about we stop in and see if he is in his office."

Well that 20 minutes in his office started something I never prepared for or ever thought I would do.  This professor wanted to hear me play and also thought the orchestra teacher would like to hear me play as well.  We set up a tentative time for me to come in and audition.  AUDITION!?!  I never thought I would do that.  Well, maybe for a bride, but for an orchestra or band?  Not in a million years did I want to be that harpist.  

I left school that day and I told Brent what happened.  I was in total shock.  I didn't even have a chance to say no (well I guess I could have, but in a way, deep down, I really wanted to do this).

I have never considered myself to be a great harpist.  I know I play well. I know my technique is good.  But I have never desired to learn hard, fanciful songs, only because I hate how they usually sound.  I like classical music, but I hate playing it on the harp.  Where am I really going to use it, certainly not at a wedding?  I usually try to take a blend of songs people know and mix it up with some classical pieces that people may have heard as well.  

The professor called me and we set up a time this past Friday for me to come in and audition.  Prior to Friday, I had practiced until my fingers were sore.  Thursday night, like 11:00pm, I opened up my music book and decided just for fun to play some songs in it.  Well, I played one of my songs that is nothing but glisses, it has lots of pedal changes, and has harmonics.  Impressive song for technique.  Well, Friday comes and the one song that I had practiced my heart out on, I didn't even play.  Nope, I decided to play the one song I played at 11:00pm the night before.  The only reason I went with that song was because the professor was watching over my shoulder watching me read music.  This meant, I had to read my music and play it as written.  Remember how I said I am a solo act?  Well, I don't always play my music as it is written.  So, I played that and another song, and he wanted to see me sight read some music that I had never seen before and he wanted to lead me as well (conduct).  

To make my long story even longer (sorry if you have read this far and thought she loves to ramble, because...well, I do), he offered me a scholarship to be part of the band.  The orchestra teacher could not hear me play, but he is sure the orchestra teacher will now use me, as well as the choral teacher.  So, each of them have budgets and he said they will put together a package and potentially my schooling could be payed for.  YAY!!!  

So, to answer the title to my post, what am I thinking?  I have no idea what I am thinking.  I have never ever dreamed of being a harpist with a group or a symphony.  But to tell you the truth, I am sort of excited about this opportunity.  It will mean more homework (practicing my harp), but I really am excited to see where this will lead to.  I guess this goes to show that the Lord knows our needs and that he gives us opportunities to help us grow and help us develop our talents.