Okay, so I read a story on KSL.com today that made me laugh. Ever since I read it this morning looking for something completely different, I had to blog on this. The article I read is hilarious on the subject that was studied. Basically, what I got from the article about the study that was performed was that Brent and I are doomed. There is no hope for us. I am not sure how we are going to get over the problem that we have. We really are not sure who does it to each other the most, we both think the other spouse does it the most. Basically, we are not sure that we can cure it. Any suggestions? Oh, first you need to know the topic.....
Annoying the other spouse.
Seriously, there was a study done on this. What a waste of money. So, because both Brent and I have had a good laugh and have annoyed each other more today, purposely, and made it a point to point out to one another that the other is annoying us, I thought I would copy the story to see if you too are doomed just like me and Brent. And I really did love him.....lol...
But seriously, there was a study done on this? Is this how desperate they are to do studies? Did they not know that if you annoy someone you may continue to annoy them, especially if you are with that person every day of your life, 24/7? We just want to know how to sign up for a study such as this? Oh, and one other thing before you read the article...the very last sentence states where this article was presented; it was presented to the Professionals in the Field of Aging. Okay, it is one thing to put it in a magazine like Good Housekeeping, Cosmo (not that I read it, it is just what came to mind), something that a younger generation may read, but to present it to doctors who deal with older people? So I guess Brent and I have many more years until we make it to that older adult stage, 60+ where we just accept each other, at least according to this article. Or, maybe our annoying one another will start to decline when we hit our 40's (yikes).
But in all fairness, we really do get along and love each other and enjoy spending time together, even if we annoy the other person, but only sometimes, like on days that end in "Y".
Here's the article, sorry it is so long.livescience:http://www.livescience.com/health/080205-spouse-negative.html
Marriage: It's Only Going to Get Worse
By Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Staff Writer
posted: 05 February 2008 02:19 pm ET
If your spouse already bugs you now, the future is bleak. New research suggests couples view one another as even more irritating and demanding the longer they are together.
The same trend was not found for relationships with children or friends.
The study results could be a consequence of accumulated contact with a spouse, such that the nitpicking or frequent demands that once triggered just a mild chafe develops into a major pain. But accumulated irritation has its silver lining.
"As we age and become closer and more comfortable with one another, it could be that we're more able to express ourselves to each other," said lead study author Kira Birditt, a research fellow at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research. "In other words, it's possible that negativity is a normal aspect of close relationships that include a great deal of daily contact."
Rather than breeding unhappy couples and ill health, the increase in negativity could be a normal part of relationships.
"Because we found that pattern was overall among the participants, it appears to be normative. It's not something unusual that happens," Birditt said.
Relationship report
Birditt and U-M colleagues Lisa Jackey and Toni Antonucci looked at how negative views of spouses, friends and children changed over time and among different age groups, including young adults (ages 20 to 39), middle-aged adults (40 to 59) and older adults (60 and over).
The researchers analyzed responses collected in 1992 and 2005 as part of the Social Relations and Health Over the Life Course study, a regionally representative sample of people from the greater Detroit metropolitan area.
More than 800 individuals indicated the level of negativity in relationships with their spouses or partners, children and best friends. Participants also noted whether or not their responses referred to the same spouse, child and friend during the 2005 interviews.
Each participant rated how strongly they agreed or disagreed with two statements:
"My (spouse/partner, child, friend) gets on my nerves."
"My (spouse/partner, child, friend) makes too many demands on me."
Irksome partners
In all age groups, individuals reported viewing their spouse as the most negative compared with children and friends. The negative view of spouses tended to increase over time.
"We were surprised because in the gerontological research, it suggests that as people age they get better at regulating their emotions and experience less negative relationships," Birditt told LiveScience. "But we found that it depends on which relationship you're looking at."
As relationships with spouses became more negative, relationships with children and friends seemed to become less demanding and irritating over time. Negativity toward friends decreases over time partially because we can continuously choose and weed our friends, ditching those pals who are irritating, according to the researchers.
"Relationships with children may become less negative because of role changes as children move through adolescence and young adulthood, grow and mature, usually becoming more stable and independent," Birditt explained. Kids moving out didn't seem to impact spousal negativity, however, as the researchers found the same trend for spouses irrespective of the age group.
Participants in their 20s and 30s reported having the most negative relationships overall. Older adults had the least negative relationships with spouses, children and friends. Past research by Birditt and others has shown that older adults are more likely to report less conflict in their relationships compared with younger adults.
"Older adults are more likely than younger people to report that they try to deal with conflict by avoiding confrontations, rather than by discussing problems," Birditt said.
In general, the longer partners stay together, the more they have to deal with the other's idiosyncrasies, for instance. "When you’re living together, it’s a lot harder to avoid each other," Birditt said.
The research was presented in November at an annual meeting of the Gerontological Society of America, and it has also been submitted to a journal for publication.
By Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Staff Writer
posted: 05 February 2008 02:19 pm ET
If your spouse already bugs you now, the future is bleak. New research suggests couples view one another as even more irritating and demanding the longer they are together.The same trend was not found for relationships with children or friends.
The study results could be a consequence of accumulated contact with a spouse, such that the nitpicking or frequent demands that once triggered just a mild chafe develops into a major pain. But accumulated irritation has its silver lining.
"As we age and become closer and more comfortable with one another, it could be that we're more able to express ourselves to each other," said lead study author Kira Birditt, a research fellow at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research. "In other words, it's possible that negativity is a normal aspect of close relationships that include a great deal of daily contact."
Rather than breeding unhappy couples and ill health, the increase in negativity could be a normal part of relationships.
"Because we found that pattern was overall among the participants, it appears to be normative. It's not something unusual that happens," Birditt said.
Relationship report
Birditt and U-M colleagues Lisa Jackey and Toni Antonucci looked at how negative views of spouses, friends and children changed over time and among different age groups, including young adults (ages 20 to 39), middle-aged adults (40 to 59) and older adults (60 and over).
The researchers analyzed responses collected in 1992 and 2005 as part of the Social Relations and Health Over the Life Course study, a regionally representative sample of people from the greater Detroit metropolitan area.
More than 800 individuals indicated the level of negativity in relationships with their spouses or partners, children and best friends. Participants also noted whether or not their responses referred to the same spouse, child and friend during the 2005 interviews.
Each participant rated how strongly they agreed or disagreed with two statements:
"My (spouse/partner, child, friend) gets on my nerves."
"My (spouse/partner, child, friend) makes too many demands on me."
Irksome partners
In all age groups, individuals reported viewing their spouse as the most negative compared with children and friends. The negative view of spouses tended to increase over time.
"We were surprised because in the gerontological research, it suggests that as people age they get better at regulating their emotions and experience less negative relationships," Birditt told LiveScience. "But we found that it depends on which relationship you're looking at."
As relationships with spouses became more negative, relationships with children and friends seemed to become less demanding and irritating over time. Negativity toward friends decreases over time partially because we can continuously choose and weed our friends, ditching those pals who are irritating, according to the researchers.
"Relationships with children may become less negative because of role changes as children move through adolescence and young adulthood, grow and mature, usually becoming more stable and independent," Birditt explained. Kids moving out didn't seem to impact spousal negativity, however, as the researchers found the same trend for spouses irrespective of the age group.
Participants in their 20s and 30s reported having the most negative relationships overall. Older adults had the least negative relationships with spouses, children and friends. Past research by Birditt and others has shown that older adults are more likely to report less conflict in their relationships compared with younger adults.
"Older adults are more likely than younger people to report that they try to deal with conflict by avoiding confrontations, rather than by discussing problems," Birditt said.
In general, the longer partners stay together, the more they have to deal with the other's idiosyncrasies, for instance. "When you’re living together, it’s a lot harder to avoid each other," Birditt said.
The research was presented in November at an annual meeting of the Gerontological Society of America, and it has also been submitted to a journal for publication.
1 comment:
WOW -- yeah, we're in trouble too -- guess we'll be okay when we're 70!!! Amazing what people think is important enough to do a study on??????
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