Don't want this to end. ...

I don't want this vacation to come to an end.  Some days I think I am ready and others I am not.   For the past week I have been fine but now it hits again.  This will be the last Christmas without him for two years.   So days I feel like that is forever while other days I look ahead and it doesn't seem all that long   I bet you can't guess which I am feeling today?  
The past five days have been wonderful!   We have enjoyed everyday together, as a family, visiting Southern California theme parks.   Watching the smiles and hearing the laughter from children had been priceless!  The time we spent together are memories that we will never forget;  especially each enjoying Tatsu for our very first time!  If you don't know what that is,  Google it, it can be found at Magic Mointain.
Thinking that for the next two years I won't have Garrett here to include in our memories makes me sad and miss him already.   Thinking that Garrett, Parker and Madi won't be able to sing Christmas songs at the to of their lungs makes me miss him already.  Watching Parker when Garrett is not around makes me miss him; he's is going to miss his brother and so will Madi.
The past week has been wonderful since I have not cried.... Until now.   I am going to miss that kid. I don't want him to be left out of the family memories that are to be made.   I understand he will be making memories that will last a life time.  I know he will touch many many lives in the process.   But for selfish reasons,  I am going to miss him.  
So on this Christmas Eve I will enjoy all the time we have together and enjoy all the memories that we create and share.   I will enjoy their laughter and smiles a bit more this year.  Because the bottom line is,  I am going to miss Garrett the next two years.
... Happy post to follow.....